Stress is an inevitable part of the human experience. It is unreasonable to expect that there is a singular way to avoid stress. So, when it comes to building resilience, it is important to acknowledge the role that mindset and perception play in how we experience stress. Building a more balanced approach to navigating stress puts the focus on how to stress mindfully.
In the process of building resilience and reducing stress, how we perceive our circumstances can make all the difference. It can be easy to get caught in a negative thought loop and start to believe that things will never change, and the stress is here to stay. A helpful shift in perspective is remembering that life is ever changing and everything is temporary. Sometimes when we are faced with challenges or adverse life experiences, it feels like a painfully long ‘temporary,’ but in reality, nothing lasts forever.
Another mind trap that is easy to get caught up in is feeling like a particular situation or circumstance is the best or worst thing ever. This can lead to feelings of cycling up and down or as if you are on a roller coaster. One valuable approach to this up and down is to find a more neutral response – this situation is neither good nor bad, it is simply the experience you are having right now.
There is enormous value in being able to ebb and flow with the constant changes of life and not get too attached to a particular situation or outcome. This doesn’t mean we can’t make space for how we feel about these things. Stuffing our emotions or pretending everything is okay when it really isn’t doesn’t help us either. What can be most helpful is allowing the emotions to flow through, to feel what we feel and gently move on without getting too attached or labeling things as all good or all bad.
The part of our brain that is designed to respond to stress is the most primitive part of our brain. Our brains are unable to decipher the difference between a temporary stressful circumstance and a life- threatening situation. The physiological response to a stressful day at work and getting chased by a lion in the jungle is the same within our bodies. This is why having awareness of and intention around our mindset and perception is so vital in calming the stress response.
Our physiological response to stress is immediate at the onset of the stressor. In that moment, our mindset has the power to perpetuate the stress response or engage the relaxation response. If we get caught in mind traps and negative feedback loops the stressor becomes magnified and can quickly turn from an acute event into chronic stress. And when stress becomes chronic, the toll it takes on our bodies can be extreme. Current medical research estimates that up to 90% of chronic illness is rooted in stress.
Awareness and choice around mindset and perception are key to minimizing the effects of stress and building resilience. A lovely example of choosing your mindset can be found in this traditional Sufi story.
Try these quick tips on choosing mindset as you become increasingly aware of your stress response:
Practice Acceptance
When we are in resistance with that which we cannot control, we engage the stress response. Softening to our circumstances with acceptance can transform a stressful event into a life experience. How many times have each of us wished desperately for something in our life that we can’t control would just go away? But we can’t make it go away an often we can’t even change it just a little. It can be immensely frustrating. In these moments, it is often our own powerlessness that is causing our distress. Coming to terms with the things we cannot change can make all the difference. If we choose the lens through which we view our circumstances, we leverage the power to transform the experience.
Cultivate Presence
Most of our perceived stress is about things that happened in the past or something we are worried will or will not happen in the future. We can get so caught up in the past or future that we completely miss the present moment. Bringing yourself into the present through (1) pausing to breathe, (2) tuning into your immediate surroundings, (3) engaging your 5 senses, and (4) connecting to your body through movement, will hit the pause on the spinning thoughts about yesterday and tomorrow.
Remember Gratitude
When we consciously shift our focus to what we are grateful for, we create new neuropathways in our brain. This allows for more ease, being present with the many things that are still good rather than ruminating on all the things we want to be different. The one thing we do have control over is how we choose to perceive and engage with our circumstances. A great first step to shift into regular gratitude practice is with a simple gratitude journal or list. Starting the day with a quick list of 5-10 things you are grateful for helps to cultivate more gratitude throughout your life.
Coaching can provide a supportive space to explore and cultivate skills for building resilience and reducing stress.
To explore how coaching could support you on your journey into less stress and more peace schedule a 20 minute Discovery Call.
